Ode to Mystery Cans
by Jean Ororo Rogue and Kurt
Summary: Logan brings everyone mystery cans. Insanity insues. Jott, slight Kurtty, Romy, and LoRo (by J, O, R, and K)
1. it begins

Ororo: Right hand yellow!  
  
Evan: No! Not Yellow!  
  
Kitty: What's wrong with Evan?  
  
Ororo: He's xanthrophobic. *met with blank stares* afraid of the color yellow. Gosh, you all really need to read more often.  
  
All: Ooohhh...  
  
Jean: Maybe we should play a different game...  
  
Logan: Do what you want, I'm getting a drink.  
  
Kurt: Oh! Get me von, too!  
  
Logan: *looks at him funny* Anyone else?  
  
All: Yeah, sure.  
  
Logan: Okay... *leaves* *comes back with unlabeled cans* *hands them out*  
  
*two hours, 63 cans, and 9 drunk x-men later...*  
  
Logan and Ororo: *Are singing "it's raining men" off key*  
  
*in the background Rogue is chasing Remy with her gloves off yelling "Ah'm goin to get you"*  
  
*Evan is yelling about popcorn in his hair, even though there is nothing*  
  
*Jean is trying to see how many mystery cans she can balance on Scott's head*  
  
*Kitty and Kurt keep appearing and disappearing and yelling out peek-a-boo*  
  
Jean: Hold still, Scott! Just 9,999,989 more and we'll have 10,000,000!  
  
Scott: Alright! Getting close!  
  
Kitty: Peek-a-boo!  
  
Kurt: We see you!  
  
*Jean and Scott fall back and all of the cans fall*  
  
Jean: Aw, man! This sucks!  
  
Scott: Yeah, now we'll never know if our wish came true!  
  
Kitty: Was your wish by any chance to go around saying peek-a-boo?  
  
S & J: NO!  
  
Kurt: Too bad! *him and Kitty bamf away*  
  
Logan: OoO! Would you look at that, a nickel!  
  
Ororo: Yeah! *both dive to get it*  
  
Logan: Back off, Snowplow, I saw it first!  
  
*continue to bicker*  
  
Evan: Help! Help! There's big yellow popcorn in my hair!  
  
Jean: Get your foot off of my hand, Slym!  
  
Scott: No, you get your butt off of my stomach, Redd!  
  
Remy: Here birdie, birdie, birdie!  
  
Evan: What bird?  
  
Remy: The yellow canary on your head.  
  
Evan: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  
  
Rogue: He was a girl, she was a boy! *continues to mess up the words to sk8er boi*  
  
Logan: I'm going to sleep. *lays down on couch and conks out, allowing Ororo to take claim over the nickel*  
  
Ororo: Yippee! I'm rich, I'm rich! *big yawn* I'm sleepy... *falls asleep standing up (literally) and falls on Logan*  
  
Evan: Oh no, Auntie O! How can you fall asleep in a room full of yellow?  
  
Rogue: *stops singing* Ain't 'er room yellow, too?  
  
Evan: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! You're right, giant talking cactus! I must save her room! *runs off to rid Storm's room of yellow*  
  
Rogue: Ah'm a giant talkin cactus? WWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *tires herself out crying and falls asleep on Remy*  
  
Remy: Chere? Chere? Wake up! Remy can't move with you on him! *gets tired of trying and falls asleep, too*  
  
Kitty: Peek-aaaaaaa*yawn*aaaaaa-boo *falls asleep*  
  
Kurt: Katzchen? Kitty? Kitty? KITTY?!?!? NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RID THE VORLD OF VIREHIRENDS BY PLAYING PEEK-A-BOO???? WWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *tires himself out and falls asleep*  
  
Jean: Sleepy... sleepy... *yawns* can't sleep here... must go somewhere else... *yawns*  
  
Scott: Must... move Jean... don't want to end up like Remy... *struggles to keep eyes open*  
  
Jean: So sleepy... *Stands up wobbly* I'm up! *helps Scott up* You're up too! Yeay!  
  
Scott: Happy! *both yawn* sleepy... can't sleep... won't sleep...  
  
Jean: uuuhhh... *falls asleep standing up, Scott goes to catch her and falls asleep, too, so they both end up on the floor anyway*  
  
*Prof. X wheels in and looks around*  
  
Prof. X: My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R! My bologna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R! I love to eat it every day and if you ask me why I'll say: "'cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A!  
  
The end... or is it?  
  
Yeah, I think it is. 


	2. wakey wakey

Ororo: *groggily* What happened...? *sees Logan under her* Uhhh... *tries to get up, but can't because Logan's arm is tightly around her* Logan? Logan, wake up!  
  
Logan: Uhh... *stays sleeping* more time...  
  
Ororo: Great...  
  
Jean: *wakes up* What happened? *Scott's arms are around her* *she doesn't want to wake him so she stays still* Morning, Ororo!  
  
Ororo: Morning, I see we're in the same position. You'd think the sun's bright yellow rays would wake them up.  
  
Evan: Yellow rays?!? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs back to his room*  
  
Jean: *like Evan never said anything* Yeah. Go figure. *lays her head back on his chest*  
  
Ororo: You two look awfully comfortable. Sure you haven't been in that position before?  
  
Jean: *blushes*  
  
Kitty: What was I doing in the like backyard? And why do I like have "peek- a-boo" like stuck in my head?  
  
Kurt: *BAMFs up* Ja, I know vhat you mean, I vant to rid the vorld of virehidrents!  
  
Rogue:*wakes up* *sits up* *is sitting on Remy* * knows and doesn't care* G'mornin, early risers.  
  
All awake: Morning  
  
Ororo: Shhh, hear that? It sounds like the Professor's mumbling something.  
  
Prof. X: My bologna has a first name... *he mumbled*  
  
Rogue: Let's just pretend that we didn't hear that...  
  
*All nod in agreement*  
  
Scott: *still asleep* Jean, stole blanket... bummer...  
  
Kitty: How often do you two like sleep like that? Must be a lot if he mumbles things like that in his sleep...  
  
Jean: Oh, stuff it, Kitty.  
  
Remy: *wakes, but cannot get up because of Rogue* Chere, could you please get off Remy, he has to use the men's room.  
  
Rogue: Nope, Ah'm quite comfortable here, Cajun.  
  
Remy: But Remy must go!  
  
Rogue: Don't care.  
  
Ororo: Almost got it! *reaches towards the nickel*  
  
Logan: *rolls over taking Ororo with him*  
  
Ororo: Noooooo!!!!!!!!! *is now WAY away from it*  
  
Scott: *wakes up* *sees Jean in his arms* Morning, Redd.  
  
Ororo: Seriously, though! How often do you sleep like this? First Jean wakes up and doesn't freak out that you're holdin her; then she lays her head on you. THEN you mumble about her takin your blankets; THEN YOU wake up and don't freak! SHEESH!  
  
Kitty: Is it just me, Kurt, or is everyone like paired off?  
  
Kurt: Ja, I guess so, but the Professor's alone.  
  
Rogue: An' Evan.  
  
Remy: Yeah... Poor kid went crazy... Remy feels bad for him... Remy also still needs to go.  
  
Rogue: And Rogue still doesn't care.  
  
Ororo: Ho hum...  
  
Jean: Bored?  
  
Ororo: How'd you guess?  
  
Jean: I am a telepath.  
  
*Ororo starts laughing*  
  
Ororo: *yawns* this is sssssooooo boring, I'll just go back to sleep since Logan won't be up soon... Night... *falls deep asleep*  
  
Logan: *wakes up* What's going on? Why's 'Ro on top a me?  
  
Remy: Same reason Chere's on Remy and Jean's on Scott. Can Remy go yet?  
  
Rogue: No.  
  
Logan: And why exactly is that...?  
  
Kurt: Nobody knows... and ze professor vill only mumble ze Oscar Mayer song...  
  
Logan: Bummer... Man, 'Ro sure is a deep sleeper...  
  
Jean: Well, she was the first one awake, but you wouldn't wake, so she went back to sleep. *shifts so she can see Scott* Hi.  
  
Logan: How many times have you guys sat like that? *grins*  
  
Ororo: That's what I keep saying...  
  
Logan: Thought you were asleep.  
  
Ororo: Well I was but someone squirms an awful lot.  
  
Kitty: What's with all of these mystery cans?  
  
Jean: Hmmm... *shifts so she can see Kitty* They do look familiar...  
  
Scott: Yeah and for some reason I remember a bunch of cans floating towards my head...  
  
Both: Weird...  
  
Remy: Chere, Remy must use the restroom soon!  
  
Rogue: Too, bad.  
  
Kitty: I'm gonna like go make breakfast!  
  
Kurt: Me, too! *BAMF*  
  
Ororo: *stretches* My back hurts...  
  
Logan: Then get up!  
  
Ororo: No, you'll take the couch!  
  
Logan: Then don't complain.  
  
Ororo: This bickering also seems familiar...  
  
Logan: Yeah... So no one remembers anything?  
  
All: No...  
  
Remy: Remy really, really needs to go!  
  
Rogue: Stop whinin'!  
  
Remy: Yes, ma'am. 


	3. 3 weeks later

3 weeks later...  
  
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Go on, go to the next chapter already!  
  
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Stop hanging around here I said!!!!!!  
  
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PLEASE!!!!!!!! You're driving me crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
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Ha! I'm just gonna stop writing! Then whacha gonna do? Huh? 


	4. AGAIN?

Logan: Turn that off!  
  
Kitty: Why?  
  
Kurt: Ja! Our favorite song is on!  
  
Logan: Do I care?  
  
Kurt: Maybe...  
  
Kitty: PLEASE!  
  
Logan: Sorry, Half-pint.  
  
Kurt: Aw, you're no fun.  
  
Kitty: Yeah, we just wanted to listen to the radio and you like barge in here and like tell us to like turn it off.  
  
Logan: You got a problem with that?  
  
Kitty: Yeah!  
  
Jean: *comes in* What's going on in here?  
  
Kitty: Logan like walked in here when we were like listening to our music and like made us like turn it off.  
  
Kurt: Ja! Ve vere just getting our groove on! *starts to dance*  
  
Jean: Has anyone seen my brush?  
  
Kitty: I thought I like saw Scott like walking off with it.  
  
Jean: SCOTT!  
  
Scott: *peeks head in* What?  
  
Jean: Did you steal my hair brush?  
  
Scott: No...  
  
Kitty: Yeah! I like totally saw you walk off with it!  
  
Scott: Maybe it was just Mystique...  
  
Jean: *sarcastically* Yeah, 'cause she always comes here to steal hairbrushes.  
  
Kurt: That's probably vhy I can't ever find mine...  
  
Logan: Right... You kids can deal with this, I'm getting a drink...  
  
Kurt: Get me one, too!  
  
Logan: *gives him weird look* Okay... Anyone else?  
  
All: Yeah, sure.  
  
Logan: Okay, but remember what happened last time?  
  
All: No...  
  
Logan: Oh yeah, no one remembers anything. *leaves and comes back with Ororo, Remy, and Rogue*  
  
Ororo: *hands a mystery can to everyone* Now everyone, don't drink too much, I left Evan in his room so he wouldn't be afraid of all the yellow and go crazy again.  
  
*2 hours, 63 mystery cans, and 8 drunk X-men later...*  
  
*Ororo and Logan think that they are master chefs and trying to defeat the world record of the biggest omelet*  
  
*Jean and Scott are acting like Michael Jackson, singing and dancing*  
  
*Rogue is trying to teach Remy how to break dance*  
  
*Kitty is giving Kurt a make-over*  
  
Ororo: Just 9,999,998 eggs more to beat the record!  
  
Logan: Will it all fit in this bowl? *holds up a monkey*  
  
Ororo: Of course it will, now put it down so we can fill it up!  
  
Logan: *puts the monkey down and it runs away*  
  
Ororo: Bummer...  
  
Kitty: Hold still, Kurtty!  
  
Kurt: But it tickles!  
  
Kitty: Too bad! Oh, yeah, this is definitely your color!  
  
Kurt: Really? I alvays thought of myself as more of a coral.  
  
Kitty: Yeah! It's perfect for you! Now what about lips, lets try this metallic-like color!  
  
Magneto: OoO, Metal! *grabs the lipstick from Kitty and flies away*  
  
Kurt: Bummer...  
  
Rogue: Now you put your leg up in the air and spin.  
  
Remy: Like this? *falls over*  
  
Rogue: No, no, no, like this. *does the same thing as Remy*  
  
Remy: Ooohhh...  
  
Ororo: Okay, lets try this bowl, it's bigger. *brings over an elephant*  
  
Logan: Yay!!! How many more eggs do we need?  
  
Ororo: Only 9,999,999 more.  
  
Logan: Really? That's more than we needed last time...  
  
Ororo: Shut up and let the professional work!  
  
Logan: Yes, ma'am.  
  
Jean: Something evil's lurking in the dark... *stops singing*  
  
Scott: What's wrong?  
  
Jean: I forgot the rest.  
  
Scott: Bummer...  
  
Remy: Remy is getting tired, chere.  
  
Rogue: Yeah, well- *yawn* Okay, Ah guess we could take a break...  
  
Remy: *drops to the floor asleep*  
  
Rogue: *falls on top of him* (A/N: Okay, now who didn't see that coming?)  
  
Scott: Jean, I think we *yawn* need a break.  
  
Jean: Whatever you say...  
  
Scott: *drops to the floor asleep*  
  
Jean: *falls on top of him* (A/N: Do you see a pattern?)  
  
*the elephant walks away and squishes the eggs on the way*  
  
Ororo: *falls to her knees crying* Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Why do the bowls keep leaving! WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Logan: 'Ro I'm sleee*Yawn*eepy *falls asleep on couch*  
  
Ororo: *tires herself out crying and falls asleep on top of him and the couch*  
  
Kitty: OH! You look like SSSSSSOOOOOOO beautiful, Kurtty!  
  
Kurt: You really think so?  
  
Kitty: Uh huh, definitely!  
  
Kurt: All this make-up makes me sleepy.  
  
Kitty: Me, too! *both fall asleep at once*  
  
*Professor X wheels in and looks around at the sleeping X-men*  
  
Prof. X: My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R! My bologna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R! I love to eat it every day and if you ask me why I'll say: "'cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A!  
  
The end... or is it?  
  
Maybe....  
  
Okay, so maybe THIS is the end....  
  
Be quiet!  
  
The real end! 


End file.
